Thursday, October 30, 2008

i dont know

ok. I feel kinda bummed. My horoscope told me that I wouldn't quite say things the way I wanted to say them today and whether it was dead on OR I let that subconsciously affect me, I just don't know.

what am I blabbering about?

well, as I may have blogged, I have given my two weeks notice at my work. I am done week one and starting to get a little nervous. I went out today to drop off a resume and well.. I didn't really give the impression I WANTED to give at a restaurant I really want to work in. ARGH.

This is a really cool concept restaurant. It is all local bought food. Everything about it is going to be Ontario bought. Cool idea, great for local economy.. I am really into the reusing, recycling, re purposing, organic, local food.. that whole concept I have been doing for at least NINE years.

Today, I think I blew it when I went in there to talk to the guy for a little over an hour. I don't know what was with me.. I just seemed to not express things quite right. I filled out paper work and made mistakes. I couldn't write properly.

I guess I was nervous and didn't take a moment before going in to RELAX.


damn. I wish I could do that over again. But, I must say, I DID look good. I was supposed to get a call tonight about an interview. That call still has not come in and it's weird.. I am the type to go to either extreme. I either WAIT for that call and hardly part with the phone.. or I just "let it go" and be at ease with life and oneself.

guess what I did tonight?

yep. I just let the phone out of my sight at nine pm.

I still believe it all happens for a reason though. Maybe I am not supposed to be at this restaurant. Maybe I am suppose to go out on a limb and start my etsy business and MAYBE perhaps start my little city shop full of eco friendly creative wares?

I think I will just let it be for tonight and have a good sleep in my new bed.
I can't pretend I'm not disappointed though. :(

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

saturday night nightmare

so we were one short for a busy night. my boss was hosting which means he was seating people and walking around to tables asking how things were.

I was doing pretty well with seven tables and a large party of eight UNTIL that last booth was sat. Unfortunately, their timing couldn't have been worse.. and if I could have passed off that table to someone, I would have as RIGHT when they sat down was the start of all my hot food coming up to be delivered, bills needed to go out and many a pop had to be refilled. *sigh*

so it took me about seven to ten minutes to get their drink order. another five to get it out to them (bar was busy, of course) and that is when it happened.

the boss stops me in the kitchen and YELLS at me. Yes. what did he say? hmm. "why doesn't #13 have their drinks?!"
I say, "that's what Im off to do, I need to go!"
he gets louder and says "are you not taking me seriously? you are NOW just getting their drinks?!"
me, "yes. I need to go and do it NOW.. they've been waiting"
"that will be your last table.." he mocks
"Okay, but I am closing tonight. Get someone else to close then.. Im not staying without tables." and with that, I leave to get the drinks that are actually WAITING on the bar now, getting in everyone elses way.

So the night goes on.. he's checking my tables like MAD and all of them are saying things are great.. our server is working hard. Very nice girl, great service for a very busy night..

I over hear some of these comments. Im happy that they are happy, but even MORE delighted that he has gone to check out my work and they have stood behind me.

He is PISSED. you would think the OWNER would be happy that I am actually doing a good job despite #13 waiting and waiting.. and in my mind, that is my "sacrificial table" which means, that table that didn't get the service that I would normally give and to expect a mediocre tip from them.

He found something ELSE to yell at me for, but I just don't listen. I am FAR too busy to waste my time trying to explain OR to even yell at him. I just nod and leave.. but I did hear "I dont care if this is your LAST shift!" OHHHH.. I remember. He sat me another table and I told someone to take it. She says "why? You can't be cut, not now!" I told her "nope, john told me that #13 was my last table.." and of course, the perfect person to be talking to as she is 60+ and greek. She speaks greek to John and then comes back to me and tells me to take the table. You aren't cut.

yay. (not really) So I take the table and eventually all my tables get done and pay. Then I dont get another table sat AT ALL. Im the only one without tables and I was suppose to be closing (because I know John and he HASN'T lined up another closer..)

So. I tell the girl that was going to help me close (but still go earlier than me) that she should be closing. She agrees to close (as she has three or four tables left) and I do my duties which takes almost until closing time due to the disaster the night has caused the restaurant.

I show her how to close the machines and everyone is questioning me what happened. I tell them I am going to be looking for a new job.

I took the picture Cookie Sunshine drew for this restaurant off the wall and left for the night.

THIS restaurant isn't deserving of such fine artistic talent. I will take it with me to another restaurant. When and if I open my own, it will rest there and I will ensure that the place is worthy of it.

oh yes, I almost forgot. I got in trouble last night too. The night started fine and he was TRYING to be nice.. probably heard that Im going to be looking out in the world for new employment.. but that didn't last long. Once again we were short a server and well.. we started getting busy.. and things were looking hairy. THEN, BAM. I got in trouble. Why? I don't know actually. He asked me to get his coffee.. I told him it's going to have to wait. I guess I didn't get to it in time, and he came out and did it himself. I guess Im suppose to be HIS server as well, no matter HOW busy I am. Hmm.

Tomorrow will be my first day off and the first day I hand out resumes.

I wish I could just start my own business. Unfortunately, I feel like Im always one step behind and that it's impossible.

Maybe I should just leap for it.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

caramel apples, beds and positive thinking..

This is what I did yesterday, besides all the dishes that had piled up.

I dipped and dipped. I even burnt myself a few times.. but oh, they turned out wonderfully!!

I made these for Waldorf's Fall Fair. It's a fund raising event that builds up funds to be able to offer the ATA (assessable to all) to those who need it. It's a subsidy program which I have taken advantage of this year and am happy to help out at the event. :) If I remember the camera, I will take some delightful pictures!

Anywho.. I bought me a BED!! Yes. I deserve a bed.. I have been sleeping on a futon most of my life, and the futon wasn't even mine. It was bought for my sister when she went to college. I had it for YEARS after.. and it was time to buy a new one. I got a great deal. It was a $2000 bed, I got it for a little over $1100 with frame. I COULD have gotten more freebies, but alas.. I just dont care for them. The only thing I want is a dust mite, waterproof cover that will protect the mattress so I dont have to worry about ANYTHING. It costs (at that store) $110. I think I can find the same one cheaper though.. I will hunt around again.

I happened to check out one of my favourite sites called Pioneer Thinking which has a large assortment of herbal remedies.. herbal concoctions and just all out good stuff. If you are into the natural way of life, you should check it.

ANYHOW, this little bit I found and even though I haven't read through all of it yet, Im still going to post it because it's all about positive thinking.. :D Yay! we all LOVE and NEED some positive thoughts once in a while. (frequently would be better though!)

here it is.. if you want to find it for yourself, look here.

Positive Thinking - 28 Ideas For Keeping Your Positive Energy Flowing
by Barbara Small

1. Remember that your thoughts create your destiny. Recognize your own power to create your life.

2. Stop worrying. Often by worrying we feel like we are "doing" something about a problem when we aren't. When we worry we are in the past or in the future. By staying in the present we can actually problem-solve the situation as it actually exists.

3. Don't believe in defeat. Unexpected opportunities often come with what initially seem like negative outcomes or mistakes . Also, when you feel defeated, make a list of the factors that are supportive of you, rather than focusing on those that are against you.

4. Stop all those little negatives because they grow in to large ones. Use thought stopping and the steps toward changing your negative self-talk.

5. Name what is blocking your positive thoughts. What prevents you from thinking positive all the time?

6. Examine each of your core beliefs in terms of how it operates in your life. Make a commitment to yourself to eliminate the ones that cause you distress or problems.

7. Focus on the present. Your energy is drained by regretting the past and worrying about the future. Stay grounded in the here-and-now where it is easier to actually problem-solve the real situations.

8. When faced with a problem, focus on possible solutions and the resources that you do have. Brainstorm. What are the many options available, not just the black-and-white solutions or obvious ones?

9. Take self-responsibility. Stop blaming others for your unhappiness. Recognize the consequences of your choices.

10. Identify your personal definition of success. This helps you decide which path you want to take and to know when you have arrived at your goal. Your definition of success will be unique to you. No one else can define it for you.

11. Fill your life with positive supportive people. Allow their positive opinion of you in. Don't block them because their opinions do not fit your image of yourself. What is the worse thing that could happen if you thought positive thoughts about yourself? You might actually feel more energetic and motivated and have more fun!

12. Avoid draining your energy by focusing on the past and looking at mistakes that have already been made. Focus on the lesson learned and not on the mistake. What can you learn from the choice you made, whether it was a good choice or not?

13. Express your appreciation and positive feelings toward others. Say thank you when they complete simple daily tasks. Avoid draining your energy focusing on what they didn't or haven't done.

14. When feeling overwhelmed by change, make a list of what is staying the same and what is not changing. What do you already know? What can you keep doing the same as before?

15. Acknowledge out loud your positive traits and successes. Question why it is considered conceited or arrogant to talk about what you do well.

16. Keep a gratitude journal. Each night before bed list three things that you are grateful for that day. Some days it may simply be that you are grateful that the day is finally over!

17. Work at being content with who you are rather than pleasing others by wearing your social mask. When you wear a mask and try to be everything to everyone it can be exhausting. There is no space left for you. Also, I find that in order to please everyone I would have to keep switching masks for each new person because everyone will want something different.

18. Ask yourself: "How do I manufacture my own unhappiness?"

19. Keep asking yourself what is really important. In five years how much will this really matter?

20. Brainstorm a list of what makes you happy. Direct your attention to what pleases you. How can you allow or create more of this in your life?

21. Practice random acts of kindness.

22. Suspend judgment of yourself and others. Practice self-acceptance and acceptance of others. What does judging yourself or someone else achieve? Acceptance does not mean never changing. However, you cannot change what you don't recognize or accept you are doing.

23. Affirm and reaffirm your assets. List ten achievements you have obtained over the last 5 years. It could be finding a new job, taking a course, learning a new skill or changing your attitude.

24. Trust your intuition. Your intuition is that "gut feeling" or that hunch. It is your inner self speaking to you.

25. Create a home environment that is pleasing and nurturing to you.

26. Work at a job that energizes you.

27. Slow down. Learn to respond, rather than react.

28. Our own attitude is often what we see reflected in others. People in our lives act as mirrors to allow us to see ourselves more clearly. If you are surrounded by negative people, take a look at yourself. How might these people be a reflection of your own attitude? Similarly, as you become more positive you will attract more positive people to you. Initially though, as you become more positive the negative people in your life may escalate their negatively in order to try to pull you back in. Remember it is not your job to change them. Focus your energy on being more positive and creating more positive energy in your own life.

It also says "Which 5 of these suggestions will you commit to focusing on over the next 6 months" at the end.. but when I printed it, I didn't want that on it so I didn't hi lite it. :)

Anyhow my friends, my daughter is talking and talking and asking and so forth.. maybe I should wrap this up and get back to you after she's asleep for the night? No promises though.. I do work all day at Waldorf and all night at the restaurant and I also close the place tonight.. so I may just fall asleep on the couch again.. just like last night.


Sunday, October 19, 2008

now I'm it..

Im sorry, I should mention Which Goose tagged me!!

The Rules:
1. Link to your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blog.
4. Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

hrm.. seven facts and seven people. I should have thought about this before attempting..

1. I believe God is energy. We are energy. Everything is energy. The word "energy" is now looking kinda weird as I have looked at it too many times while editing.. :)

2. Sometimes I act in a way that isn't quite me. I have come to understand that everyone has a vibration and people react to that vibration. Some things are experiences that they have to learn from, sometimes it's you that needs to learn from it.

3. Most nights I think about my social encounters of the day while I'm trying to fall asleep at night. I think about what I liked about the way I handled things and what I didn't like about how I acted then make mental notes of what I COULD'VE done differently or different responses to answers I gave. Then I let it all go.

4. Many people say I have very beautiful eyes which tilt up a little at the out side edges. As a child, I would look in the mirror and pull them down to make them appear normal.

5. Almost every person I have gotten a little close to has said that I am a strange person. I agree. I am. I don't have to do much, people just sense it about me and of those people, they will either LIKE me, or NOT like me. But I do NOT have any close close friends.. I wish I just had ONE BEST FRIEND.

6. I have this fantasy of "having it all together" meaning I ate healthy all the time, meditated, did some yoga or pilates, had some time for pampering AND everything was organized in the house to enable crafty endeavors, filing of paperwork, and really, to just have pop in visitors feel comfortable. At the moment, I do these things very spur of the moment and RIGHT NOW the house is somewhat presentable.

7. I believe I would be a very beneficial multimillionaire for the world. Sure, at first I think I may be a bit greedy, making sure I had a house, car and my daughters future secured.. but the rest of my money, I would make things happen for the better for the world and invest my time in learning how to do that.. I would basically become a part time volunteer for the bettering of life and also a part time crafty mother.

OKAY, I have done confessing! XD that took some time!

lemme see.. now I need seven people to drag into this.. lemme go look around. :)

Lovely people who visit my blog.. I present to you some of the most inspirational people of which I have met either from or from another blog (probably from someone I met through etsy..) which linked to their blogs..

ANYHOW, these are WONDERFUL people who have inspired me endlessly since I have been trying to gather myself and talents to create a etsy store. It is almost on it's way, but for now.. these people are NOW IT! check their blogs, I must say, they are all very talented! I now wish I could choose all the people I had in mind.. but lets stick to the rules!

1. tangente
2. soon, then
3. Queen of Fifty Cents
4. Anna Maria Horner
5. Cookie Sunshine
6. maya*made
7. Elsa Mora

enjoy the up coming week!

(oh, tangente, I could only WISH those pictures with my daughter were of my back yard!! Thank you for the lovely comment/compliment though!:))

Thursday, October 16, 2008

leah asked..

Yes, my lovely friends. THESE are cursive capital letters S and Z. :)

how the memory retains this information when it hasn't been used in such a while.. I don't know. But that fascinating person I met four hours ago, I couldn't remember her name for the life of me. How DOES that all work out?!

a headache plagues me, but alas, Lexi and I have returned from a magic show and it's almost TEN pm!! ack! WILL she wake for school tomorrow and STILL be a good listener?! we shall see!!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

*sigh* I voted and it didn't work..

well.. canadians have another minority conservative government.

Im not going to pretend that I know politics, because I really dont.

however, I do know good feeling from bad feeling and when I read the politics section.. I somewhat trust my instincts.

Conservatives didn't give me the warm fuzzies..
as a matter of fact, neither did the liberals.

when will people stop voting for parties who use "fear tactics"? my GAWD. how wrong is it to bash someone to make yourself look better?!

and their policies.. yep. Im so very glad that my daughters generation, from what I can see for the most part, CARE about the environment.

unfortunately, by the time they are in power, it may be too late.

it's all very sad really.. and that's the last thing I need on a dreary day like today.


I hope to see life evolve more progressively in the future. I really would love to see a change for the better some time soon.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

I took leahs' advice from moxie photo and design..

no more word verification on comments left! let the spam begin!

Thank you to those who are following my blog. It makes me feel all warm inside! Give me some time, and I'll make it worth your while!

I promise, more pictures are coming! tomorrow's my day off!

Hopefully some turkey pictures are coming too! This coming weekend is my extended family thanksgiving.. so hopefully I remember to bring my camera!

ciao my lovelies~!

Monday, October 13, 2008

happy canadian thanksgiving!

here's some pictures alexis and her "grandji" (grandma) took. :)

aren't they beautiful?!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

time flies when you're gettin' dirty!

Sooo.. I have been living up to my word. I have been in the basement doing the nasty cleaning and organizing.

lets call it creating.

Im creating a WONDERFUL crafty abode.

My daughter has her cute little red table down there that I must dig out. Her cute little chair which matches. I anticipate this to be HER little work station.

It's going to be lovely. Mother and daughter working side by side. I wont have to convince her either.. she LOVES making crafts.

she's definitely MY child.

I remember all the way til grade four I *LOVED* making crafts. Then one day, in grade four, I went to the craft cupboard and got me some paper while in class. My teacher said something to me.. something that was both embarassing and degrading.. I cant QUITE remember what it was, but it was along the lines of I was stupid for crafting so much. I think that's when I stopped, actually. I put the paper back and didn't make any more crafts in her class. sad, eh? She was also one of those teachers that ALL the kids liked. I never liked school much (it was boring.. I got good grades yet hardly went to school..) so I never REALLY had any favourite teachers either.

Anyhow.. I apologize for not posting pictures of the wonderful loot I got a couple of days ago.. and of my progress on the basement.. but I WILL get them downloaded off the camera SHORTLY for the ones that I have taken, and will TAKE the ones I must take.

Friday is a P.D. day.. maybe that's what I'll do with Lexi. She LOVES taking photos..

although I have said to a mom that I would be available for a "playdate" (my daughter has been talking of "Kyra" for WEEKS now.) Probably a good time to get acquainted with her mom. :)

Im off to gather and take out the garbage! the cleaning isn't over yet!

have a great week, my lovelies!

Friday, October 3, 2008

today i...

did many many dishes.

ground up raw meat for my carnivores with the "grind o matic" (i'll show you a picture later.. it's a MUST see for all vintage lovers!!)

vacuum carpets

washed and dried laundry (putting away is for tomorrow)

took down my chalk board cubby thingy and put up a mirror

organized the living room a little bit more

arranged flowers into a little wall hanging vase thingy

cooked dinner

fed cats three times

made beds

created a melt-a-bead with an iron horse silhouette thingy (I'll have to take a picture of it)

cleaned the bath tub

cleared off the computer desk a little (there's so much more to be done on it though!)

so my feet hurt and it feels like I did SO MUCH MORE than that.. I may have and dont remember all of it.. it's all a blur now. I will let the little one play computer for a bit and then off to bed she and I go! :) Im really looking forward to it.

I STILL haven't got the mail and I only ate dinner for food today. I know, tha's no good. Coffee helped keep the energy flowing but I bet Im going to crash HARD. ;)

later ladies and gents!

(I did take some pictures.. but I'll post them later!)

Thursday, October 2, 2008


one day my daughter asked me what respect is. hmm. how to define respect? I looked up the meaning in wikipedia.. :) This is what the collective society has to say about it.. (and Im glad I wasn't the only one who thought it was hard to define!)

"RESPECT is one of the most (if not the most) important attributes for society to maintain, yet is hard to define.

On its broadest level respect is the acknowledgment that someone has value.

They may be rich, work very hard, or may simply treat everyone in a way that gives them value.

The importance on this value is that it changes peoples reactions towards you, usually in a positive way.

Respect is treating others the way you would like them to treat you.

A person is more likely to treat you with respect if you do what is asked of you instead of arguing with them.

It is the value you earned while doing what you were told that has led the person to respect you and therefore treat you nicely."

hmm. I printed it out and hung it at work. Some people liked it.. others rolled their eyes.

I was just reading Happier Than God by Neale Donald Walsch. I have been reading little bits at a time to help absorb it. Here's a little bit of his book:

"Whatever you wish to experience in your own lifetime, cause another to experience in theirs. If you wish to experience love, cause another to be loved. If you wish to experience abundance, cause another to be abundant. If you wish to experience success, cause another to be successful. If you wish to experience power, cause another to be powerful. If you wish to experience wisdom, cause another to be wise. If you wish to experience romance, cause another to be romanced. If you wish to experience forgiveness, cause another to be forgiven. If you wish to experience safety and security, cause another to be safe and secure.. (it goes on like this)

..what I am saying here is that Personal Creation begins best with another. Focus first on the other, the other always the other, never first on the Self, and that which the Self wishes to experience will be realized sevenfold. Whatever you wish to create for yourself, create for another. This is the Energy of Attraction at its most powerful.

Why this works: What you bring to another, you bring to the Self, for this is no other in ultimate reality. There is only the Self. When you understand this, you understand everything you will ever need to know about how to be happier than God."

Now I agree, and disagree. All that is ringing through my head is when you are in a plane, and it's going down.. put your own mask on first so that you may help others afterward. I guess there's always exceptions.. But this is the "do unto others as you would do unto yourself" theory. And I agree. Those who are outwardly joyful and loving, I find myself more happy and loving in their presence. Those who help me, I feel the desire to help out too.

dont you?

okay, I should be cleaning.. so off I go to clean. I thought I would share that little bit of wisdom with you on a chilly Thursday!


Wednesday, October 1, 2008

maybe tomorrow is all about cleaning?!

ok. it's not my fault. (oh yes, it is.. :) I went downtown to get a new bus pass because, well, it IS october first. I need that bus pass.

I saw the thrift shop. thought about it. then without debating with myself more so that I could convince myself "no, not shopping day, CLEANING day." I walked in.

I DID find a hardtop suitcase that should be cleaned a little on the inside. I DID find a fabulous mirror. I did find this wonderful little kangaroo with a baby joey in her pouch salt and pepper shakers (you really must see these! they are so cute!)

I had my suitcase full (also got two shirts, a twin vintage sheet set and a vintage table topper thingy.. I'll try to get that picture when im getting it out!) and a mirror in the other hand, headed home with my newly acquired bus pass.. (reason Im down there!) and I FORGET to stop at the Ryan's pet store on my way back!

I walk in and there are kitties all hungry and purring at me.. thinking Im about to put down a delicious meal for them. I set everything down, look at my clock and put out some salmon I had for them (knowing they wont eat it.. they some how dont like salmon?!)

anyhow.. I go out.. get forty dollars worth of food for them and get back to find myself STARVING. Then Joe, Lexi's dad drops by to tell me he's headed for the dump. (I have yard waste and hazardous waste that needs to go) and I convince him it's time for lunch.. Taco Bell is my choice. (something about the fries supreme is addictive, and I have heard that the United States Taco Bells DONT have fries supreme?! Someone confirm that for me, will ya?)

Anyhow, after going there and waiting FOREVER to take out.. getting home and eating.. I had a VERY hard time staying awake. It has been dreary today with breaks of sun, I blame that.. so I HAD to nap. I didnt realize I would nap for three hours.

so.. Now Im off to do the dishes that patiently awaits. Lexi will soon be coming home from her Grandji date. (Grandma)

Hopefully TOMORROW will be a more productive day.. soon to follow, pictures of the loot. :)

im free!! oh yes, im free!

Okay.. so after working full time for the last couple of weeks.. today is the start to my three day break!

working in a restaurant can be very stressing at times. I really enjoy working as a server meeting people and helping them have a great night out.. but oh, I must say, there is always some sort of DRAMA happening behind that kitchen door.

last night we had a larger sized party and a full house on top of it. Im happy to announce that I did NOT do the party, which Im so very glad.. so I got the "overflow" tables.. once one would leave, the table would fill again. I like that type of turnover some nights.. it makes for a full wallet at the end of the shift.

Monday night was a favourite night out of the four in a row that I did. I only had four tables, but three of them were five people and one was a little old couple who had a GREAT sense of humour.. but because it was a slower night, I really was able to converse with the guests. It was great fun!

I realized that your night is controlled by you. If you come into work grouchy and really just not wanting to be there.. your night can be disastrous. I was as happy as could be and two out of the four tables commented on how great of a server I was. *glow* I swear, that is one of the best things you can do for a server is to complement them. anyhow, I commented that I really liked what I did and they agreed. It looked like I was enjoying myself and in that, they had a great time.

making eighty dollars on four tables tells me that I'm not bad at serving..

today is all about the cleaning/organizing though. The first of october. *ack* The winter is creeping up and I want to air the house out as much as I can before the snow FLIES! I'll try to snap some pictures while Im cleaning as there's lots I havent shown you yet and Im DYING to show you!

First though, I must go and get my cats some RAW MEAT. mmm.. raw meet for the carnivores.

have a lovely wednesday!